there isn't a one size fits all answer

This episode I am excited to introduce Demi Trimm. Born and raised in St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands, Demi is deeply committed to community service and youth empowerment. She is a first-year graduate student at the University of the Virgin Islands in the MAcc degree program. Currently serves as the Grants and Program Associate with the Community Foundation of the Virgin Islands (CFVI), where she supports grant management, and program coordination. She aspires to continue making an impact as a mentor, educator, and community leader, while sharing the culture and stories of the U.S. Virgin Islands. Demi is eager to collaborate with other young leaders to exchange ideas and advance initiatives that create meaningful, lasting change. 

In this episode, she discusses navigating 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey, how are y'all doing? This is Brianna, and this is the Divine Intervention Podcast, where I try my best to make space and learn how to take up that space. And today I am so happy to be here with Demi. Um, and I'll just pass it over to her so she can give a brief introduction.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

Hey. Hello everyone. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night, wherever you are. It's a pleasure to be here. My name is Demi Trim, and I am excited to be here just to discuss with Brianna who I am. Just a bit of background about me. I am from the Virgin Islands, born and raised in St. Croix. I'm a first generation college student, first generation Crushung. I am still currently studying my earning my graduate degree studies at the University of the Virgin Islands on the Albert A. Sheen campus. I am also an alumni of the University of Miami where I earned my bachelor's degree in accounting and finance. I am an alumni with AmeriCorps, where I served over 1700 hours with City Air Miami. And I am what else did I say?

SPEAKER_00 1:13

Ami, you're so amazing. It's a lot that can be listed.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

It is a lot that can be listed. I I oh, well the most important thing, I've also had the opportunity to work with Brianna in the Asping Young Leaders Fellowship. Um, we're a space where we're both fellows and also a youth facilitator for a second year. And currently I am a fellow for the Carnegie Young Leaders for Civic Institute fellows. Um so yeah, that's just a bit about me. I feel like I butchered that a bit, but you indeed did not.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

I know what it's like. I always tell people when someone asks me to introduce myself, it's like I forget everything and then I'm trying to like randomly grab it. Um, but thanks so much for joining me. I really asked you to join because from the moment I met you when AY left, I really acknowledge your leadership style. I feel like you were very authentic. Um, and I could see it in the way that you show up. And so I really just wanted to give some space today to talk about your experience as a first generation college student, but also um the transition period and what that was like for you.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

Yeah, for sure. So my experience as a first generation college student, this is a question that I like to just answer honestly and realistically. Um, and when I did introduce myself, you heard I did earn my degree and everything. So you know that well, we all know that. Yes, I made it, I made that accomplishment. But just the experience overall is something that makes me very emotional because of everything that I had to navigate. Um, you know, there are a lot of questions that I had to ask stepping into the unknown. I didn't even know what the word first generation meant until I saw it when I kept applying for um college, even filling out the FAFSA, which is something I also did wrong because it was my first time doing it, and my AP Cal teacher had to help me fix that. Um, so well, my experience, I had to do a lot of self-searching um because there were so many titles that were starting to be attached to me that I felt like I had to identify with. So I wore my identity a lot on my sleeve during college. Um most of it is like, oh, where you from? Oh, I'm from the Virgin Islands, oh, are you Fristian? Yes, I'm Fristian, are you here on scholarship? Oh yes, which is my socioeconomic background being up there in the air. And I just felt like my identity itself always had to come first before my academics. And I never really knew why until I started getting the feeling that I had to prove myself with every room that I entered in, um, which also sent me into like an identity crisis, you know. So as I mentioned earlier, I went to the University of Miami, cocaine's, and that was a whirlwind experience. Um, I left my island, I came to Florida, I came to the US, no family, no support, experiencing imposter syndrome, hiding my accent, wondering if I'm good enough, sometimes being the only black person in the room, and the pressure to just succeed was always there. And just lack of clarity on most things, tears, lots of tears, um, because I didn't have a solid community. I worked more than I got to be a student. I failed, not just in the essence of like things that I wanted to accomplish, but I also failed classes. I failed not one, not two, but three classes during my entire undergrad experience, but just something honorable me from like junior high until high school never would have thought was possible. And you know, I read the articles when it said being a first-generation college student, like the 10 tips you can take to have a successful um four years, but they were too generalized, if that made sense. You know, according to them, if I followed these steps, I should have a great college experience. I didn't get it right my freshman year, also because of COVID. I didn't get it right my sophomore year, I did not get it right my junior year, I got it right my senior year, my final year of college is when things finally started feeling like a normal quote-unquote college experience. Um, you know, I made friends for the first time, I started joining organizations for the first time. I was finally getting yeses to internships and everything, and classes were becoming manageable. But I'm not I don't want to talk about it like it was all just like a negative experience because it wasn't. It was definitely a life lesson and learning experience for me, especially the biggest one being learn how to ask for help. Um, that's not something that can really be taught in a sense from the articles that you read or the conversations that you have. It's something you have to decide. Like I would ask the questions, and when I get the answers, and from there I'd go, okay, I know what I need to do, I'll do it, I'll figure it out. That independent mindset was like a little thorn in my side for the longest time. So when I finally did begin to get too overwhelmed and I didn't know where to go, what to do, I started asking for help from one person, then it trickled down to two, then it trickled down to five, and then my mentors really helped me when it came to my academics, when it came to my mental space, when it came to my career, because again, everything was so generalized and set in stone where it's like want to do accounting, go to corporate. I thought I wanted to go to corporate, I did not want to go to corporate. I I wanted to do something different. I wanted to do something that's I know I would enjoy. Um and you know, so I graduated, which is great. I got the awards, I got the stoles. Those were the things that were present on graduation day. Those were the things that my family saw. But the other things, being first generation, doing things for the first time, you know, um, first time in college, first time being on my own, first time being around people who aren't where I'm from and I'm the minority, first time knows, first time feelings and stuff like that. Um, even my first time and only time, of course, being 18, 19, 20, and 21. They weren't seeing all of that, but gave myself grace. Um, because I didn't come from a family of like nurses, engineers, doctors, of course, but I did come from a family of grit, determination, and hard work. So deep down I knew I would get it done. It was just the process took some time, which is okay. So would I do it again? Yes. Would I do it differently? Yes. Would it change? I I don't know because that would mean rethinking who I am and who I want to become um during those four years. So maybe the end result would still be the same. Um, but the lessons would still be there. So being first generation, being a first generation college student for me is something that I hold deeply in my experience. I reflect on greatly, and I just encourage others to navigate your own path when it comes to that, because there's that hundreds of thousands of us right now, but our story is not the same. Our outlook and our decisions and everything will never be the same. So don't worry if your your story or your path isn't looking how it's supposed to look, because only you can determine how that's supposed to look.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Yeah, I really want to thank you for being so vulnerable and open, especially because a lot of what you express is how I felt, which is why I'm getting a little teary eye. I did not expect that today. I'm sorry. But I I definitely, which of course, my experience is very different. I have to acknowledge I was an album 30 minutes away from home. Um, so there was that, and I did build a sense of community earlier, whether it was intentional or not. I ended up, I always joke with my friends, and I'm like, you know, we left each other freshman year. Like we met the first week, and then a lot of us didn't leave back up to like senior year. And we were like, oh, you were the friend that I was searching for. Like I met you the first week, and I kind of just forgot you until now. Um, but I I definitely say I felt a lot of navigating the fast oh my gosh. Um, and I had like a mentor who would walk me through certain things here and there, but for the most part, I was kind of navigating a lot of the paperwork by myself, like the understanding what things meant, the titles. It was there were so many titles, um, so many words where I was just like, okay, what necessarily does that mean? Google became my best friend because I was like, okay, like, am I, am I that? I always say college was when I learned even about my socioeconomic status because I didn't even learn that word until I got to college. For me, I was kind of just like, you know, I came from a family, like you said, great, determination. We was gonna make some shape, we were gonna figure it out, but I really did not even learn about how people even view where I'm from until I got to college, and it was such a weird space for me to be in because I was like, why are you talking about like the people that I grew up with and where I'm from, the people that I love in this way? Like you're talking about them like they're a statistic, they're not a statistic, they're people. So I think even for me, like, thank you so much for just being vulnerable and open because I do feel like I did not start to get it right until my senior year, too, when I really started to feel like I found my cadence that I was like, oh well now it's time for me to go. Like I finally figured it out. But I do want to take the time to just acknowledge who you grew into because you know we met like our senior, our senior year. Um and I really just want to take the time to uplift and acknowledge like who you've grown into and give you your flowers for the day because it may have taken a lot of determination and a lot of grit, but girl, you got there, and before this, I didn't even know any of what you shared. So I do just want to take the time to, you know, acknowledge that and give you your flowers because I know what it's like when you're kind of trying to figure everything out and it feels like nothing is making sense, and then you're getting frustrated. And I know for me, I would try to connect back home, but it's not they didn't really get it.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Yeah. Yeah, it's not something you can try to talk about it, and then when you try to talk about it, they're like, but I don't understand. Because you know, when speaking with my mom with everything that was going on, she was like, What's an internship? What's this? What's that? I don't know how to read your financial aid letter. I don't understand. What do you mean? A loan, you have to take on a loan, stuff like that. How does that affect you? It was just it was it was a it was a lot to navigate, and then even speaking with my friends who are also first generation, you know, there were certain challenges that I was having that they weren't having and that they were having that I wasn't having, you know. So I think with being first generation, what you can relate to is the fact that, like, yes, you share that identity in a sense, but you know, identity itself is something that there's some identities that come with it, you know, that ends up influencing the main one. So uh it's not it's more than the surface level that we see that end up impacting us. Um so it was about having conversations and learning how to navigate and go from there. So a lot of self-searching, like I said.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

Yeah. So I would say, what are some of the tools that like you use or things that you found to be useful as you were navigating that period?

SPEAKER_01 13:51

I think some of the tools that really helped was how to say it. Going in spaces that weren't really not the answer, it's not that they weren't common, it's just that it wasn't where I was like wasn't expecting to find answers because you know I needed help with money and being able to afford school. I'd go to the financial aid office and you know, everybody's going there and they're hearing the same story. And then if I wanted to succeed, I would go to like the office of academic enhancement and stuff like that. But there's only a certain amount of opportunities and a certain number of us, you know. So it's just like, okay, I feel like I kind of need to step out of the regular box that I have been placed in and find answers a different way. And I found those answers in like the Butler Center for Service and Leadership, um, the Multicultural Student Affairs Office, um my mentors who were in there. I found it even in mentors who were working in housing and residential life, just like speaking to them about my challenges and what I'm facing, and then pointing me to different outlets that I didn't know was an option on campus. So I think the main thing here is like it's important to have conversations with everybody, you know, like everybody will be able to help in some way, form, or fashion. Um, don't just go to the known source that you think is like, okay, I'll get an answer here, because sometimes you get the answer and it's not the answer you're looking for, but then you also don't even know what you're looking for, you know. So I think having conversations with people also outside of my major, where I did accounting and finance, like I did not have any mentors from the professors in the schools, but I did have mentors in the offices and departments, like I mentioned, which was very ironic because you would think that in order to go where I need to go, those would be the people that would help, but they weren't. It was in someplace else. So I think that would be like the most important thing. Google, like you said, was my best friend in searching for things, but it's sometimes I didn't even know what I had to search for, especially when trying to find scholarships, when trying to find internships and everything like that. I didn't know what exactly I needed to look for. Um, and then also even if I did find the outlet, it was do I even fit the criteria? Um, how do I make sure I fit the criteria and stuff like that? So those were things that kind of worked for me um and helped me in a sense. I'm not sure if that would work for everyone else, you know, because again, everyone's experiences are different. But I definitely think we need to start learning that there's more than one possible answer and more than one possible place to get an answer from, and going from there is where you'll be able to like start making things in motion. Um, so yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

Thanks for sharing. I know for me, I started I think I really forced myself to get out of my comfort zone because I started asking people to be my mentors, which was very uncomfortable for me because the first thing you said about like independence. Um my mama was a very independent woman, and then even my father, he was very like independent, and it I think for me, it took a lot out of me to learn, like you said, how to ask for help because it's not something that I necessarily knew how to do. Because I was also raised in a household where your business is your business, and you don't tell nobody your business. So even like getting out of just being like, Well, this is this is my information, like I really don't want everybody to know. It's not really their business. Um, so it it for me, uh it took a lot of me learning how to like open up my mouth and like a way to close mouth, don't get fed, but it would kind of just go over my head. Cause I'll be like, Oh, I'm gonna be fine anyway. And it's like, no, you're not, please just ask. Like, talk to people.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

Agree, I agree. But I'm gonna be fine mindset. I'll it'll be okay. I'll figure it out. I can get it done. So much I, I, I, I, I, like, I had to I need to learn to start making it like a we or us and yeah, that that is the most important thing.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

Because I feel like I also had to learn that people love showing up for you. Like, if you ask people, there's nothing people love more than feeling like you ask them to show up for you. And I think I needed to learn how to shift my mindset from like feeling like I'm bothering people to like we're doing this together, like we're in community. And if we're in community, that means that you know, if you need something, you can feel free to come to me, and I can feel free to come to you. Exactly. Because I know you shared how like everything seemed so I guess uniformed is the best word. I think I felt somewhat similarly navigating political science because you know I wanted to go into law and I wanted to be a lawyer. And I think I learned later in my experience that I'm a lot more unconventional than I thought I was, like I'm a lot more I love community work. I have a heart, I love it so much. Um and so how did you navigate knowing um what you wanted to go into and having to somewhat create your own path and figuring out what that looks like?

SPEAKER_01 19:38

That is a really good question. I honestly that's a journey that I didn't do alone. Um, so I mentioned before that like, you know, my professors are push corporate, so quickest way to move up in accounting and just like, you know, make the money and everything, because for some reason that's what matters first and foremost. Um, and it was to become a CPA. You have to get a job at the big four. Does it have to be at the big four? Yes, it has to be at the big four. So I tried, did not get through my freshman year or sophomore year, got through my junior and senior year working at Deloitte. Great experience, great people, great work. Um, and but it was something that I'm just like, is this something I really want to do? You know, when they're talking about like, first of all, busy season and everything. Am I excited for this work? The Excel spreadsheets and everything that I have in front of me, the partners that I'm meeting, am I feeling fulfilled? Like, and I would trick myself into thinking, you know what, Demi, you you're just seeing part of it because this is just an internship. When you start working your 40 hours and everything like that, it's gonna be different. You're gonna like it. But I still would end up having conversations with again mentors who are not in the business school, who were not my um business school professors, and asking them, Well, what do you do for your job? You know, like how did you get to where you get to? And they would give me their rundown and they would give me their story. And what I got from that was just like, you know, I make sure to always sit down with myself and try things that I wanted to do first before I started falling into that uniformity outlook of like, go to school, graduate, get a job, uh, make money, build a family, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know? So whenever it was one mentor I sat down with um in the Butler Center, and um she told me about a program, which was the City Air program AmeriCorps. She was like, Have you ever heard of AmeriCorps? And I was like, No, what is it? She explained what it is to me. She told me what it would what I would be doing, that I would be working with kids. I was like, kids, I don't know if I want to work with kids. I'm I have a degree in accounting. I'm not gonna, I'm not a I'm not a teacher because that's what it sounded like I was supposed to do um, teach the kids and stuff like that. She was like, No, let's teach for America. This is City Year, Miami, this is completely different. Different. It wasn't that different. But um I told her it's just like I really enjoyed community. I wanted to stay in Miami because I graduated in 2023. I wanted to stay in Miami for a bit more, but I wanted to learn the culture. I wanted to build a community because you visited Miami. You've seen the different cultures that we have there and everything. So I was like, I didn't get that opportunity during my four years here at U Miami. Let me see what I can do with maybe an extra year or two before I decide to do my graduate studies, earn my credits, take my CPA, and then go to corporate. So she told me about City Year Miami. I applied, I got in, I did the training, I went in my classroom. I love my kids. I love my kids. The same kids that I was like, oh no. I love them dearly to my heart. Like they are amazing. The work that I got to do with them was phenomenal. And coming from the education system here in the Virgin Islands versus like there in the US or just in Florida, because you know it's different all around. I was pretty shocked as to how different it could be. But also that was again like a what do you call it? A core learning experience for me, where it's just like, oh, I could learn from this and improve it, add to it, maybe even bring it home and see how it could work there. Um, so when I started working in my classrooms, doing my small groups, meeting my kids, every day I really liked it. I didn't like the hours because you know, we had to get to 70 hundred 1700 hours in like 10 months. I didn't like that very often, but I liked being there. I liked being present. Um, I liked knowing in small ways that I was making an impact. And City here, Miami is where I found my why. Like, why do you serve? When we sign in and do our red jackets um ceremony and we get it, we have to say our why. And I had to sit with that and really like unpack that. Like, oh my gosh, why? What's my why? Why am I doing this? I thought at first this was just a gap year experience, and you know, I'm trying to do this whole self-discovery journey thing. But then what I wrote and what I said out loud was completely different than who I was mentally when I applied. And um from there I got to be team leader, and from there I got to meet like a whole bunch of different people from my age, seeing the work that they're doing to the board members in City Year, to the networks and community that they have. We did um MLK Day, like a service day, which is everything that happens annually. I loved that, and it was just it was a rewarding experience, and I just don't know how to put into words, but that experience, that job, that shaped and shaped my entire perspective as to like what I want to do. So I said, no corporate, I want to do nonprofit work. Of course, then I started hearing the chattering of like, oh, you won't get paid, you won't make money. And I'm like, you know, but I it's something I want to do. It's something that I finally figured out for myself that this is the direction I want to go in. So I started having conversations with um the leaders in my city or Miami team, and they told me the different things that I could do. They're like, Have you ever heard of grants? And I'm like, What's grants? Mind you, never even knew that was a route. Um, so the conversation started happening, and then I started getting different connections like Girls Inc., then I stumbled upon um CFEI, which I shouldn't say stumbled upon because I interned with them back in 2021, and then did outreach to them in 2024 and applied, got a job, and now here I am doing something that I really love in the industry that I love, but most importantly, I'm doing it for the community that community that I love the most, which is my home. Because at the end of the day, when I was in college post-grad, what was always in the back of my mind was like, how can I give back to home? How can I contribute to the community that raised me? And being able to do a full circle moment like that is something that's just rewarding and really pushes my fuels my passion and my desire to just keep growing and keep doing more. So I would say that's kind of the full circle moment of how I went from Deloitte to City Year to now CFBI, and then I'm still doing my graduate studies and I'm still gonna become a CPA, but I'm gonna become a CPA under the nonprofit industry and work on those balancing acts of like improving the financial situations here with our nonprofits, uh, finding more grant opportunities that the US Virgin Islands can benefit from because you know, we fall in that unique space where it's like, yes, we're part of the US, but no, we don't necessarily fit the criteria. Um, so you know, it's a balancing act with that. But I truly enjoy the work that I do and I'm really happy with where I ended up.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Thank you so much for sharing. And I can wrap us up here, but I also want to say like thank you so much for acknowledging that discussions even are not like on one size, it's all everybody's experiences, circumstances, everything is different. And even though it may have its similarities, they're still the you know, the the outline things. Um, and so before I wrap up, I want to ask, would you like to share your I'm from poll?

SPEAKER_01 27:45

Yes, I would. Let me get it from my desk really quickly. Okay. I got it. Are you gonna share background on what the I Am From poem is or we can definitely do that?

SPEAKER_00 28:16

Okay, so and please chime in if I'm not describing it to the fullest extent to you not it. In AYLF, which was the Ask the Young Leaders Fellow Shoe, it was a program that we were a part of, and one of the um activities that we had to do is the I'm from poem, and it really allows the space for you to kind of acknowledge where you're from, the things that shaped you, made you who you are, and the things that you love the most about where you're from.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

Yep, good summer, great summary actually. Right? Okay, so my I am from poem goes. I am from the boarded house in Rio Claro that is filled with stories of seven other people and the concrete white walls that raise me by Diamond Ruby. The smell of curry on a Saturday morning, the good morning, afternoons, and nights, green bright streets that know my name and yell, hey trim, crick's and tea and doubles for breakfast, fairies in the garden, summer and winter travels that felt like a dream, the a good for you, uh, and G's and ages, the separated spaces where no one talks, the stories no one knows, but life moves on from through to 16. First in the family, daughter, scholar, but the last to speak, so the conversation changes. I am from hard workers, thinkers, imaginators, but not speakers. So I speak for them. The aunts, uncles, mom, and dad who sit in silence. I am from Marjorie Trim. I am from Desmond Trim. I am from the US Virgin Islands, I am from Miami, I am Demi Trim.

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Thank you so much for sharing. And I so much will join me today. It's a key lovely me. Yes. And so this kind of concludes this episode, and we will see y'all in the next one.